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“The dream is always showing the dreamer what they don’t know about their self.”
~JP Sears

Not knowing my purpose

Dear Past (Pain-Full) Self,

The next step in finding your purpose is to ask yourself the question:

What is my dream? This seems to be difficult for people to figure out. So, another useful question (thanks Tim Ferriss) is how can I create a life where I feel like I’m on a never ending vacation?

You never know what you want more than in the moments of…

Knowing what you don’t want. Abraham Hicks says that we are never more sure of what we want than in the moments that we have or are doing what we don’t want to. For instance, if you got a job at a restaurant and you absolutely hated it then you know you didn’t want to work there, so you move on to another restaurant but realize that it’s restaurants in general that you do not want to work at. So, you get a job elsewhere until you find something that you do like.

The same goes with finding your purpose because…

When you try things and don’t like them then it’s obvious that you won’t want to spend the rest of your life doing that, so you do something else. And just like Tony Robbins says, if you try something and fail then what should you do? CHANGE YOUR APPROACH!

When you do what you love you don’t feel like you’re working.

Which is another way of saying if you do what feels most important to you it doesn’t feel like work, it feels like enjoyment. This is basically saying to live in your values. So, what’s your dream for your life based on your highest values?

There’s a quick way to discover your dream life:

Decide what your nightmare of a life looks and feels like. The opposite of that is your dream life. BOOM. Tim Ferriss calls this “Fear Setting” (vs goal setting). For me that meant working for someone else especially in the service industry.

Other questions to help this are:

– What would life be like on your terms? If you didn’t have to work another day what would you do with your time? (If you say laying on the beach all day- trust me- you would get bored in 2 months because everyone else would be at work.) What vision would you create for your life if you could design it before you were born? Of course, the more clarity you have and specificity in the details of your dream or vision the better but it’s not necessary. Write something write anything!

Clarity, Belief, and Action

Paul Chek talks about the ABC’s of building a dream and says that we must have clarity, belief, and action in order to move us towards an endeavor, such as a goal or dream of ours.


If you don’t have any sort of clear idea of what you want it will be difficult to attain it, so get some clarity on that through other people, your values (morals, ethics, means) and your past experiences.


You must believe what you want is possible or else you’ll never achieve it. We don’t want to live by other people’s dreams, we want to live out our own plan. Without belief we are doomed to live life on other people’s terms.


Taking action towards creating this vision is vital. This is a step that scared me because how was I going to take action to getting the mansion house on the beach with a helicopter to land my own and the ability to travel to anywhere in the world lavishly for a week each month? I had no clue at the time. But the HOW IS NOT IMPORTANT! All that matters is the next step. Action can be writing these things down, then taking the first step towards that dream by taking a small action like looking up the prices to what you want. If you don’t have a destination then no map will get you there. The how comes later on, so for now don’t worry about it.

Step 1:
– Figure out what you don’t want (your nightmare)
Step 2:
– Write and answer the questions above.
Step 3:
– Combine all the answers to these questions to create one ultimate dream/vision based on your values (from part 1).
Step 4:
– Apply the principles of Paul Chek’s ABC to the answers to these questions.

Your Future (Pain-Free) Self